The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial