Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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  (513): They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is. http://tfl.nu/k34n
  Replies (8) Good night (3910) Bad night (887)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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  (480): She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day http://tfl.nu/vsgx
  Replies (4) Good night (3664) Bad night (966)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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  (570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5
  Replies (39) Good night (8741) Bad night (1573)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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  (630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7
  Replies (4) Good night (2928) Bad night (1356)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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  (250): i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/d9d2
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (2502)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.

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  (410): Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style. http://tfl.nu/gn5p
  Replies (9) Good night (3685) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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  (954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z
  Replies (3) Good night (2060) Bad night (642)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...

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  (814): I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before... http://tfl.nu/3no3
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (589)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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  (734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup
  Replies (6) Good night (1670) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST

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  (254): STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST http://tfl.nu/fj6v
  Replies (6) Good night (603) Bad night (997)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?

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  (956): Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch? http://tfl.nu/v3f3
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise

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  (973): You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise http://tfl.nu/rwe2
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.

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  (804): We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon. http://tfl.nu/tgyh
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so

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  (847): this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so http://tfl.nu/o2zv
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid

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  (+44): I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid http://tfl.nu/nlje
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (245)

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