eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave