When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
