Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.