I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD