should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut