If that was your dad, he is hot
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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