Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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