I smell stomach acid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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