I'm so fucking centered right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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