the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize