how can u be prego again
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
