I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can I color on your dick again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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