loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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