I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
