Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
