but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
