My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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