lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
