Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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