How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just found puke in my bra..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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