Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Someone came in the potted fern
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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