She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
