I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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