My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
