I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
