I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
