Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

im six kinds of drunk right now

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(207): View more from Maine

you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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(817): View more from Texas

yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing

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(607): View more from New York

please dont tell anyone i was drunk

(1-607): View more from New York

you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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(425): View more from Washington

UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

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(905): View more from Ontario

Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.

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