i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
