i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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