Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
