Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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