Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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