i think my mom watched the whole time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
