You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
