I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
