I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
