Who did Billy Mays play for?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
