I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
