Taylor Swift is so right about you.
handjob tips. give me some.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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