so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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