you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
