Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
