She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
