He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how drunk are you?
Several
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
