all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
