Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just gift wrapped bread.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
