Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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