I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
