I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
