you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
