I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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