Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
