Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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