I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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