I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize