Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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