i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
