capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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