Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
another moral hangover. fuck.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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