the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
