He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
