He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
