I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
